Can you move down one?
Thoughts on seating etiquette at a bar.
A few months ago, a friend of mine came to me for my expertise as a bar-only diner. He and his wife were enjoying a meal at a crowded bar when another diner asked them to move down so that he could put two seats together. Was it okay for my friend to deny moving since he was mid meal?
My gut reaction: that was ABSOLUTELY okay! Upon more context (the seat next to them was originally filled with a solo diner, forcing their hand on the original seating; my friend was literally mid-bite on the entree, and the other diner was asking several couples to move), I felt even more reassured.
Then, just last week at at a top restaurant, we ran into this yet again. A group of four came in without a reservation, and the restaurant’s Manager had another couple move down to accommodate the big group. Not only was the other couple mid meal, but the manager didn’t help move their setting, and the group of four changed their mind and left.
It should also be noted that, similar to my friend, the couple was forced into this original seating arrangement because of separate duo who sat in the middle of the empty bar, causing the odd layout.
I have so, so many thoughts on this and I recognize that it may seem nit-picky and obsessive (and THAT’s on social anxiety).
First, we are commonly one of the first groups at a bar and we always count the number of seats in twos prior to sitting down. Most people who come to sit at a bar are in a duo, and this helps ensure we’re allowing room for other diners and not taking money away from the restaurant and the bartenders.
I can’t wrap my head around seeing a bar of four seats, and taking the second and third, leaving a single seat on either side. We go to one bar who actually tells diners that they may sit where they like and break up the seats-of-two, but if the bar gets crowded, they will be asked to move. I think this is absolutely appropriate.
This brings me to what happened at the top restaurant the other day. I was shocked at the way they handled this. Rather than forcing the couple to move mid-meal, the host, bartender or manager should have managed the original duo who sat in the second and third seats. If you’re a top restaurant, that should just be a standard, rather than forcing diners to move in the middle of their entree. At the very least, they should have assisted moving the meal and comped something, anything!
Last summer, we were at yet another top bar looking to grab martinis and apps, but there was only one seat available. No problem! It’s a casual bar, so I sat and my husband stood while we sipped. An extremely generous customer saw this and despite being in the middle of eating, he moved down, unprompted, to allow us to sit together. My husband covered his meal as a thank you.
I have so many thoughts on general bar etiquette, but I’ll get off my high horse, which is in Seats 1 and 2 so that Seats 3 and 4 can be taken by other diners.
What do you think? Am I being too tough?